Sitting on the floor, tears streaming, questions flying, fears mounting, I sought the Lord. As an eight-year-old, I didn’t know all there was to know about God, and now at forty-seven, I still do not. But just as I did at eight when my parents split up, I did again in my thirties when my own marriage difficulties were mounting, and more so at forty-seven when my son was killed.
My story is one of learning to trust God.
He is, always has been, and always will be my constant companion.
While I haven’t always recognized it at the time, I have always been able to trace the dots back to Him. In the hard and hurt of life, He gives me a reason to sing. He strengthens me with every trial and is faithful to hold my hand on the journey. Learning to trust my constant companion is helping me now, during this pandemic. I see Him with me daily. I trust He is in control.
I am a girl who likes to do life together. Jesus is the one that is always by my side, outstretched hand, saying, “I am with you, do not be afraid.” He has been my constant in the temporary. While many relationships and life situations have come and gone, He remains. He’s in the boat when the waves are throwing me sideways and making me sick. Like with the disciples, He is there and ready to silence the storms. As when Peter walked upon the water and began to sink, He has been there for me when my doubts have threatened my faith. He is my strength for the hard, my hope for the future, and my source of joy in pain.
Jesus has won my heart and for Him, “my heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.”
He excites me.
He holds me.
He helps me understand me.
He grants me peace when I fail to understand the heartbreak of this world. And don’t we need that peace, right now?
I admit, heartbreak abounds.
When I laid awake in my bed the night I kissed my son farewell, I prayed to God, asking Him to protect me from bitterness, and requesting that I would be able to continue to speak for Him. Even in my grief, I knew I was not alone. Jesus was the one holding my shattered heart together, giving me comfort and peace. The peace we inadequately speak of and cannot fully understand until we have experienced it. It’s so unusual, others look upon those who possess it as if we are aliens.In this world of hurt and heartbreak, Jesus is present for help and healing. Click To Tweet
For His children, it’s a matter of trust. Sharon Jaynes writes this about trusting God,
“Oh, that we would trust Him even if the twists and turns never make sense this side of heaven. That’s what trusting God is all about. As we live and move and have our being in Him, life’s dark places are simply opportunities to trust that God knows the way — and the perfect time to hold on tight.”
My story? My story is Jesus, beginning, middle, and end. While I am on this side of heaven I seek Him, tell of His name as best I can, and long to be home with Him.
Yes, I’m living heaven-bound.
Hoping in Jesus.
Trusting in all He is and forever will be.
Praising His name in the midst of pain, because His joy resides deep within my heart.
Sharing a burden to build the Kingdom.
Following where He leads.
Longing for all to know His name.
Relishing the life He’s given me and longing for the place He has prepared for me.
I’m the girl that likes together, realizing joy and pain collide on this side of heaven. While they crash around me, I lean into His strength and praise His name so others will hear of His goodness and be able to do the same.