I’m Over Worrying About Settling for Less

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)

I’ve always been a dreamer; not the starry-eyed, wanderlust, impractical kind, but the one who imagined that with hard work I could achieve anything. 

By nature, I’m a play-it-safe gal who chooses the role of dream organizer like it’s a badge of honor. Instead of flying by the seat of my pants or taking too many risks, I’m the planner who charts out the goals and develops strategies to forge a path of success.

That’s my practical side. 

From my younger years of days gone by to visualizing what the future holds, I’ve always aspired to [and frankly, expected myself] to do more and be more. Nobody was going to tell this small-town girl I couldn’t do big things. Besides, I love the feeling of accomplishment and even better, I relish the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than myself. 

While I’ve enjoyed my share of successes and wins, I’ve also dealt with frustrating setbacks and disappointing losses. Each situation was a learning experience but I walked away better equipped to see that big plans don’t always work out. 

At times, those around me would think I settled for less, when in reality, I settled for God's best. Click To Tweet

We all want God’s best because none of us like dealing with disappointment, but it is a part of life. The upside is that God is in total control and we can emerge stronger individuals when all is said and done. The hurt may take a bit longer to process, but in the end, I’m grateful for His protection, mercy, and grace. While our lens tends to be substantially more narrow, God always sees the big picture.

His Word says in Matthew 17:20 ESV “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” 

More recently I’ve had the opportunity to pray about a next step situation that’s been on the dream list for years. As my planner self tends to do, I’m weighing my options and giving consideration to what the commitment level will be, but as decisions go I’m still unsure. I’ve kept my thoughts on the down-low, but a friend who knows me well asked if I was interested. I told her I was looking at the opportunity and weighing all of my options.

Then she said, “what are you waiting on girlfriend?” 

What am I waiting on? I’m waiting for the fear to subside. Fear that I won’t be good enough. Fear that people won’t see the best of what I have to offer. Fear that I’ll make a mistake. And yes, even fear of rejection.  

And yet, where does fear lead?

Certainly not where I’m aspiring to go. If I dwell on the unknown, fear will suffocate me and stifle my pursuit of this dream. Recently I was enjoying some quiet time when I came across an image that garnered my attention. It read—

Forget Everything and Run or Face Everything and Rise.

It’s hard to describe how that statement took hold of me, but I remember saying aloud, “Yes Lord, I hear You.” And I meant it. 

Will I be able to settle for less and ultimately be okay? The answer will be yes. Because I’ve already lived through some of these times and it was the right decision for me in a specific season of life.

I know how it feels to have complete, indescribable peace and still navigate the uncertain. I believe God wants me to experience the hills and the valleys. He wants me to grow gratitude, respond with humility and understand that everything that happens does so for a reason. It’s not always about what I want, but what God has planned that matters most.

Reflection Questions

Have you experienced the disappointment of rejection before? 

How have you handled a setback or disappointment in the midst of pursuing a dream?

When is settling for less a positive rather than a negative? 

Prayer

Heavenly Father, I come to you today thankful for what you’ve done in my life. Despite the disappointments and setbacks, I continue to move forward in faith, trusting You for my next steps. It’s so easy to get sidetracked because of fear and intimidation, but You hold me close, love me unconditionally, and encourage me when I feel like I’ve had to settle for something less than I wanted. It is with courage and confidence that I continue to go after my dreams, praising You and praying to You, for all things are possible through Your Holy Name. Amen. 

25 thoughts on “I’m Over Worrying About Settling for Less

Helena

Love this Mitzi. I have been guilty on occasions of thinking I was settling for less, when truth be told it turned out to be the perfect fit. The Lord knows us well, he sees underneath the fluff and hype to the real us.

Reply

    Mitzi

    Thank you Helena. I agree wholeheartedly. We live in a society that says ‘Go Big or Go Home.’ Sometimes, we take that to mean that our personal lives have to look like that too. It is okay to be comfortable with something else. If the world thinks we’ve settled for less than so be it. But I would like to think it’s about what God wants that matters most.
    Hugs to you.

    Reply

    Jodie Whichard Barrett

    Helena, I think you are spot on…The Lord knows us well and sees underneath—oh, how he really does.

    Reply

Nancy Silvers

Sometimes settling for less allows us to give our full attention to what God wants us to focus on. Less is sometimes more in the long run. Sometimes our settling for less will disappoint others but if we have prayed about it and have peace it won’t disappoint God and that is what matters most…being in God’s will!! Thank you, Mitzi, for this reminder!!

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    Robin Conway

    Mitzi you have always worried more than you should, but you have always come back to the faith. You have accomplished more in your lifetime then most women. Whatever God has planned for you in the future you will ROCK IT!! I am so blessed to be your sister. Thanks for always being there for me and everyone else.
    Love, hugs and prayers! 😘

    Reply

      Mitzi

      Robin,
      Thank you for those encouraging words. You’re right to say I have done my share of worrying and not one bit of it has done any good. I had to learn through setbacks and disappointments that what I thought I wanted was not even close to what God had planned for me. So thankful for His direction and His calming peace to help me move forward and put aside any worldly view and focus on what God wants. Love you and Hugs.

      Reply

    Mitzi

    Hi Nancy,
    It is about God’s Will and His plans for our life that mean the most. The world can be disappointed that we didn’t achieve this or that, but bottomline, we must have peace in all things. I’m very glad that God redirected me during some of these setbacks or disappointments–He always knows better and He has saved me from me on several occasions. Love you!

    Reply

    Jodie Whichard Barrett

    Amen Nancy! When I put aside my more for what looks like less, it actually opens me up to His BETTER 🙂

    Reply

Michelle

The Lord always has the right plan for us, but I have been guilty of being disappointed and frustrated at times. When I learn to realize the blessing in the setback, I realize how lucky I am. Thank you for your encouraging message!

Reply

    Mitzi

    Thank you Michelle for your kind words. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to not let circumstances, setbacks, or disappointments define us. Just trust in the Lord and keep moving forward.

    Reply

Flecia

I always love your message! There have been many times I was discouraged. Praying and trusting God is always the answer but is difficult at times. God is always good though!

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    Mitzi

    Flecia,
    God is good, all the time! We continue to trust the One who know us so well and who can move mountains for us. His ways are always perfect, no matter what. Hugs sweet friend!

    Reply

Laura

Love this so much. And how timely with everything that is going on with social distancing right now. It’s so hard to look at something difficult and see that it may very well be for our own good. God’s best is always for our present and future good, even if it doesn’t seem that way to others. I love how He makes it clear to us down the road and shows us that He was in it with us the whole time. And that quote… FORGET EVERYTHING AND RUN OR FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE… I’m tucking that one away. An inspiring post, Mitzi. Thank you <3

Reply

    Mitzi

    Thank you so much friend! The timing of this post was all God. Even in our difficulties we can see God for who He is and how He guides us through every twist and turn. I love the fact that He’s in it with us for the long haul. Trusting Him gets us through the tough times and He’s right here with us now, leading us in the direction we should go. Hugs.

    Reply

Claire Koonce

Hi Mitzi,
Your words are always “right on target” but this touched my heart. I can think of two specific times when an answer of no led to God’s best yes for me. The problems and disappointments in my past have helped develop resilience and mature my character. You are right, it is ok to grieve over not receiving what we think we want, but then we must rise up and trust God to give us something better. Thank you for your positivity!

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    Mitzi

    Claire,
    All of us can relate to disappointments or not getting things we wanted. Even though we had prepared for them, worked hard for them, or believed that’s what God wanted for us–no is still hard. Even in the miry clay we are to rise up and thank Him for protecting us from what we could not see. The disappointments still sting, but I trust Him fully to know what is best for me because He sees the big picture. Thankful indeed.

    Reply

Jana

Love this encouragement Mitzi. Especially “If I dwell on the unknown, fear will suffocate me and stifle my pursuit of this dream.” Suffocate… Not being able to breathe is exactly the feeling I have when fear surrounds me.
And this “It’s not always about what I want, but what God has planned that matters most.” Great word friend!

Reply

    Mitzi

    Thank you! I pray my experiences resonate with others who have traveled this road of disappointment or setback. Even today, with all we are facing, there is timing in this message. I can only imagine the heartache, disappointment, and setback so many are experiencing, but I am praying for His powerful Presence and trust Him completely. Hugs to you my friend.

    Reply

Tara Horsley

Be in quatinte and not being told to stay home and do social distance is very hard for me right now. Are Marin said starting tonight here in Indianapolis Indiana that we had to stay in the house for two to three week. He said we are allow to go out side for a walk but we had to do social distance. We can go to the store,doctor and drugstore other then that to stay home.Its so hard to look at difficult and see that it may very well before our good. It is difficult for me because I can’t see my relative ,children, friends, Sisters in Christ. But I know God’s ways are best and is always for are present and future good.Even if it don’t seem that way to me right now. I have a dream to right now and God told me he has this plan for me. I just need to really think about it while I am in quatinte. And talk to all the ladies in Sisterhood ministries about it. I love how he told me that he loves me and on it with us. Mitzi Neely thank you for the encouragement.

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    Jodie Whichard Barrett

    Tara, These are unusual times, aren’t they? We can learn from you today. We can each be listening to the Lord during this time. He does have a plan for each of us. We are so grateful that you take the time to talk with us.

    Reply

    Mitzi

    Tara,
    These are uncertain times–unprecedented if you will, and it is difficult to bring our otherwise normal routine and life to a halt. At least, that’s what it feels like. But through this time I feel like we are being given some time at home with family that we need. Time to think and to dream–I love that God spoke to you about having a plan for you–that is awesome–now to find out what that looks like. I’m cheering you on.
    I’m continuing to Facetime with my daughter, SIL, and granddaughter–I miss them like crazy, but at least I can see their faces. God is in the middle of the details and I am thankful for His presence and peace to keep us moving forward. Praying for you sweet friend and reach out anytime.

    Reply

Jodie Whichard Barrett

Mitzi, My heart needed your encouraging words. One of my favorite verse selections comes from Hebrews and I summarize them saying, “run the race, keep the pace, keep your eyes on Jesus.” There are so many dreams that I have laid aside, but I am finding that God allows me to pick them up in His time. Keeping my eyes on Him. Love you!

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    Mitzi

    Thank you Jodie for your kind words of encouragement. Keeping our eyes on Jesus is the key. He is in the details of this season and in total control of all. While I am still working (some at home and some at school) I am looking to Him for guidance in next steps. The school thing alone is uncertain because we don’t know when we will return–there’s a date, but that continues to change. I’m also taking time to write a bit more and complete a few projects that have needed my attention. I am thankful to His presence and His peace. Hugs to you.

    Reply

Kathee Wheeler

Thank you Mitzi, Jodi and whose who have responded! We are truly going through times we have never gone through before!
I want to share what God shared with me this morning reading Ecclesiastic 3:1-7 that reminds me there are times we need to stop and listen to Him! I decided to read further in verses 8-14 “The God-Given Task” that confined to me that the last 6 weeks were hard staying in but He has things for me to do. I am not making dresses for Operation Christmas Child ShoeBoxes.
Yes, I feel I am so Blessed! My daughter, Michele O’Leary, sent me an amazing book, “Love Does” by Bob Goff. Bob writes amazing and thought provoking stories of life that can change our lives! God bless!

Reply

    Mitzi

    Kathie,
    Thank you for sharing those verses in Ecclesiastes–I will be spending some more time in the Word and work through all that He has for us in this very different season. I too, have been taking advantage of the time to complete some projects that have needed my attention for some time. The children receiving those OCC boxes will be blessed beyond measure–I am smiling ear to ear because I sew too. Thank you for sharing your talents with others and for your encouragement and kind words. Love you!

    Reply

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