I’ve always been a dreamer; not the starry-eyed, wanderlust, impractical kind, but the one who imagined that with hard work I could achieve anything.
By nature, I’m a play-it-safe gal who chooses the role of dream organizer like it’s a badge of honor. Instead of flying by the seat of my pants or taking too many risks, I’m the planner who charts out the goals and develops strategies to forge a path of success.
That’s my practical side.
From my younger years of days gone by to visualizing what the future holds, I’ve always aspired to [and frankly, expected myself] to do more and be more. Nobody was going to tell this small-town girl I couldn’t do big things. Besides, I love the feeling of accomplishment and even better, I relish the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than myself.
While I’ve enjoyed my share of successes and wins, I’ve also dealt with frustrating setbacks and disappointing losses. Each situation was a learning experience but I walked away better equipped to see that big plans don’t always work out.At times, those around me would think I settled for less, when in reality, I settled for God's best. Click To Tweet
We all want God’s best because none of us like dealing with disappointment, but it is a part of life. The upside is that God is in total control and we can emerge stronger individuals when all is said and done. The hurt may take a bit longer to process, but in the end, I’m grateful for His protection, mercy, and grace. While our lens tends to be substantially more narrow, God always sees the big picture.
His Word says in Matthew 17:20 ESV “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
More recently I’ve had the opportunity to pray about a next step situation that’s been on the dream list for years. As my planner self tends to do, I’m weighing my options and giving consideration to what the commitment level will be, but as decisions go I’m still unsure. I’ve kept my thoughts on the down-low, but a friend who knows me well asked if I was interested. I told her I was looking at the opportunity and weighing all of my options.
Then she said, “what are you waiting on girlfriend?”
What am I waiting on? I’m waiting for the fear to subside. Fear that I won’t be good enough. Fear that people won’t see the best of what I have to offer. Fear that I’ll make a mistake. And yes, even fear of rejection.
And yet, where does fear lead?
Certainly not where I’m aspiring to go. If I dwell on the unknown, fear will suffocate me and stifle my pursuit of this dream. Recently I was enjoying some quiet time when I came across an image that garnered my attention. It read—
Forget Everything and Run or Face Everything and Rise.
It’s hard to describe how that statement took hold of me, but I remember saying aloud, “Yes Lord, I hear You.” And I meant it.
Will I be able to settle for less and ultimately be okay? The answer will be yes. Because I’ve already lived through some of these times and it was the right decision for me in a specific season of life.
I know how it feels to have complete, indescribable peace and still navigate the uncertain. I believe God wants me to experience the hills and the valleys. He wants me to grow gratitude, respond with humility and understand that everything that happens does so for a reason. It’s not always about what I want, but what God has planned that matters most.