“Do you know how much I love you?” I used to ask my kids when they were very young.
Their tiny fingers would pinch together as small as possible while still leaving a gap as they’d say with a grin, “This much?” I’d look at them with eyes wide, shaking my head no and stretch my arms as wide and far apart as I possibly could, even pushing them as far behind me as my body would allow and say, “Noooo. Thisssss much!”
Honestly, if I had the power to make my arms come together behind me, I would have done it just to give them a visual of the depths of my love for them. It’s always been so important to me that my kids know they have at least one person in this world who loves them beyond all reason.
We all need that, don’t we?
For much of my life, I couldn’t feel that love—from anyone. I felt very alone, and overlooked, and simply misunderstood by almost everyone in my life.
But there was one person that made a difference. One person that seemed to love me no matter what: my grandmother, Frances. And although I later found out that she told each of her grandchildren that we were her favorite, each time she whispered it to me, she fully made me believe that I was that important to her. That her love for me was unchangeable.
Years later, when I accepted Christ, I found another person in my life that loved me unconditionally.
But, I have to tell you, the fact that He knew every single thing I’d ever done in my life really bothered me. I mean, there were things I couldn’t even bear to think about, much less want someone else to know about. It was one of the difficulties that nearly kept me from getting to know Him in the first place. I mean, have you ever thought about the fact that God sees you naked? Naked, people. It’s too much.
One morning while reading my Bible, Psalm 103:12 nearly knocked me over.
“He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.”
I just couldn’t get that concept out of my imagination of how far that distance could possibly be. I mean, it’s mindblowing, is it not? And I was quickly reminded of my little game with my children, and how much they loved knowing that someone loved them so deeply.
For most of us, it’s hard to accept that someone like Jesus could love us with all of our flaws, past mistakes, and current actions. But there’s no place for shame and regret in our walk with Christ.The past is the past. Our mistakes are not only forgiven by Him, but forgotten. Yes, forgotten. Click To Tweet
Do I still look back on mine at times and wish it were different? Absolutely.
After all, there can be lingering repercussions to the poor choices we’ve made in the past.
But, at the end of the day, God knew what I would choose to do in life the very day He made me. He loved me ahead of time, knowing that I wouldn’t live perfectly, or even acceptably at times. He loved me so outrageously, that it defies all logic and common sense. Kind of like attempting to stretch your arms backwards to make a point.
Which, I plan to do over and over again, the day I get to whisper to each of my grandchildren that they are my favorite.