I’m Over Pretending My Life is Perfect

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.
1 Timothy 1:15 NIV

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away lived the perfect Christian woman named Laurie (in my perfect world, I have an “i” in my name, okay?).

Laurie had the perfect marriage, with perfect children who never did anything wrong, and perfect friends who begged to be a part of her life on the daily, and the perfect job where she was loved and admired by many. She spent the perfect amount of time each day reading her Bible and the perfect amount of time praying before she even began to get dressed in her perfect clothes and style her perfect hair (which was perfect spiral curls, if you must know).

Life was, well, perfect. And stayed that way until the day of her perfect death surrounded by so many family members, friends, and community leaders, that they lined out the door of her perfect home, across her perfect lawn, and down the street in her perfect neighborhood. The end.

Ahem.

This is where I tell you that my life isn’t perfect, friends. And that yours needn’t be. But as I started this post, I was conflicted. Because truth be told, I kind of think my life is perfect. But, there’s a difference in what I think is perfect and what others might expect my perfection to look like. Click To Tweet

You see, there was a point in my life where I realized that my life was far from perfect, and that my attempt to make it look perfect was exhausting me. Of course, I knew it wasn’t perfect. But that wall I created around myself and my family to try to make it appear something it wasn’t? Well, that was working perfectly—to keep others from connecting with me in any real way.

And you know how sometimes you just give up on the sham and decide you’re going to lay it all out there and see if anyone can stand to be around the real you? Yeah. I did that big time. I simply stopped trying to please others.

And I finally started living for an audience of One.

If you’re expecting perfection from me, you will surely be disappointed. But you can expect that I’m living my life to the best of my ability to please the One I serve. And though I do work hard to do for many, if I don’t live up to their expectations, or if I shock them with the reality of my imperfect Christian walk, I’m okay with that.

Do I fail at times? Daily. But I’d rather live authentically, and let others see the struggle in my faith so that they can realize the struggle in their own is okay. To live my life for Christ, and show others what that really—and I mean really—looks like. Not the “church version” of myself. The sometimes snarky, sometimes road-raging, sometimes curse word slipping, version of myself. That is perfect to me. And you know what I’ve found?

It’s also perfectly able to draw others to the One that loves us perfectly.

And I just happen to believe that my doing so is part of God’s perfect plan.

Reflection Questions

Do you struggle with trying to appear perfect? How does that image of yourself compare to who you feel you really are?

What imperfect parts of you might God be able to use for His service?

Prayer

Father God, thank you for loving us despite our imperfections. We don’t have to be perfect. That’s not what you ask of us. Remind us that each of us was made exactly the way we are for your purpose in our lives. That we can serve you despite our imperfections. Help us to get past the need to be perfect so that we can live authentic lives for you, Lord. In the mighty name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

19 thoughts on “I’m Over Pretending My Life is Perfect

Jodie Whichard Barrett

Tossed that struggle aside quite some time ago and found freedom. Honestly, looking back, I can say that the greatest thing I did to help myself in this area was to strengthen my relationship with Christ. That audience of One that you mentioned. I agree! love you, my imperfect soul sister.

Reply

    Laura Adams

    I agree, the more we understand how He sees us, the less we care what others think. Love you too, Jodie B!

    Reply

Gail Merriman

Made my cry, this one. Have lived my life that way for oh so many years. Then suddenly there was the imperfection for all the world to see, big time! And it was hard and real and ……freeing. Thank You, Jesus!

Reply

    Laura Adams

    I had a similar experience where my imperfection was suddenly displayed before the world. Humiliating. And yet, it brought me to the understanding that the “show” I was putting on was for the wrong audience. There’s so much freedom in just being exactly who you are, as God made you. That’s the exact way He has planned to use you. 🙂

    Reply

    Kelly Stanley

    Gail, my friend. I miss you! Lots of love…

    Reply

Kim

YES!! I thought I had to look together to hold others together. Do you know how much weight that was? Well Jesus had a come to Jesus meeting with me. I learned that day even (though I read it several times). The burdens of others was his job not mine. I could not work on keeping me together by being distracted by others. I realized God could not help me until I was just focusing on putting me back together. I am still letting him help me with this. The weight that fell off sure feels good. So go get your FEEL GOOD and loss that glue that’s not working any way.

Reply

    Laura Adams

    Amen, Kim! I remember I ran into a friend a year before and the year after my realization happened and she’d thought I’d lost weight. When I told her I hadn’t, she said, “Then you look like a weight has been lifted off of you.” Amazing what those kinds of things can do to us, even physically.

    Reply

Nancy Silvers

Oh, a LONG, LONG, LONG time ago I had everything looking perfect on the outside-hair, nails, perfectly cleaned apartment AND I was addicted to alcohol, drugs and relationships. Everything was far from perfect! Today, I honestly don’t care about everything looking perfect, truth be told the pendulum has swing all the way in the other direction-our home is MESSY!! In the midsts of the mess is peace and it feels so good. Oh, and Feb 27th I will be clean and sober for 20 years!!!

Reply

    Laura Adams

    Nancy, that’s AMAZING! Congrats on your 20 year accomplishment! And I’d rather have an imperfect, honest, and down-to-earth friend than a perfect one putting on a show for the world any day. <3

    Reply

Kelly Stanley

Laura, I love this post so much… because of how much I love the YOU that you have allowed yourself to authentically be. I live by the belief that sometimes, in order for others to be real, I have to go first to give them permission to be real… which can be humbling, because it often means showing my so-much-less-than-perfect self. But I’ve seen God work in those spaces, and I’m addicted to the freedom it offers!

Reply

    Laura Adams

    I love that, Kelly! And I love your transparency. You inspire me. 🙂

    Reply

Tara Horsley

In my past life before I got saved several years ago I thought I was perfect in every way,My everyday life, Being a daughter, sister, mother,friend,wife. I did things I should have not had done, but I did them any ways. I know I can’t make up for them years that I totally missed up them years and people lives and missed up my life. I wasn’t perfect them. I was saved several years ago. I am still not perfect, but I have been forgiven by God, I am still not perfect but I am living my life now for God and I am serving Him. I am Joy-Filled,servicing, love,give,encouraging, Poet, Writer, I am writing to Gorily God,I am living and writing about it.

Reply

    Laura Adams

    Tara, isn’t it beautiful how God works? Once we make that change to live for the One who knows us best, the rest just seems to work itself out over time. So glad you are writing for Him. Your story is important. <3

    Reply

Cindy Krall

Do you know what stuck out to me the most in your post? Freedom. Isn’t it crazy how much freedom there is when the only One we truly care about pleasing is God? I love the way Kelly put it “… I’m addicted to the freedom it offers.” I wish I didn’t have to keep learning this lesson. I’m a people pleaser at heart but God is working on me in this area in a mighty way thanks to sisters like you. I am finding that this kind of freedom IS addictive, in a really, really good way. I love you girl. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

Reply

    Laura Adams

    It IS addictive. I’m thankful for sisters like you too, who show me that real is a safe place. <3

    Reply

Michele

Laura, I agree with Cindy, your freedom bell is ringing all through your words.

When slip off perfection and slid into saved by grace, freedom sets into place. When we are our true selves and how God has created us, we can show others it is okay to be real. Thank you for the reminder. I love you, Laura or should I say Laurie?

Reply

    Laura Adams

    Lol, on the Laurie! Love you, Michele!

    Reply

Desiree Taylor

I was just talking to my husband about this very thing. I love that it doesn’t just bring freedom to us but we live with authenticity and we let go of the striving to be perfect, it frees others to live that way. It is a beautiful thing! I love this post, Laura. Thank you for sharing!

Reply

    Laura Adams

    I agree, Desiree! I love how being authentic allows others to do the same, and in turn creates an atmosphere for genuine friendship. <3

    Reply

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