Sisterhood is Never Having to Go it Alone

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

Several years ago, my life changed drastically.

Within a matter of days, things came to light that made me realize that not only was my marriage over, but I was about to lose my home, and everything else I’d worked for my entire life. It didn’t happen in the dark, really. It’s just that I didn’t want to see the truth of what my life was. I liked the Instagram version. And I really, really wanted it to be my reality.

In the prior years to that, I’d let many of my friendships fall by the wayside. It was hard to hide the truth of my marriage, so I created distance. It was too painful for me to see what others had in their families that I would never have for myself or my children, so I created a buffer from it. In short, I isolated myself from my friends because it seemed to me that their lives were just a painful reminder of the uncomfortable truth of my own.

When things hit rock bottom, I was devastated. And heartbroken. And grieving in a way I didn’t know was even possible. But to make matters worse, when I looked around—there was no one there willing to walk through it all with me because I hadn’t taken the time to do the same for them in recent years.

As I picked up the pieces of my life and began rebuilding, one of my first prayers was this: “Lord, please give me some godly girlfriends.”

It’s not that none of my earlier friends weren’t Christians, some were. But most of my friendships were more akin to what Beth Moore described when she said: “women’s friendships today are a mile wide, and one inch deep.”

I wanted more. A friendship that went deeper. Click To Tweet

More than gossip over wine. More than chatting about nothing as our children played nearby. More than attending Bible studies each week, but not knowing anything beyond the surface about most of the women beside me.

Thankfully, God not only knew what I wanted, but what I actually needed. Sisters. Someone that was more like family than a friend. Someone who wouldn’t let me pull away and not pester me to find out why. Someone who I could be real with, and know that at the end of my ugly, they would still be standing beside me.

In time, God answered my prayer. In fact, the women I’m in this ministry with may be the first Sisters I’ve had in my life. They are some of the first people I shared the truth of my marriage with. And though it terrified me to do that, and honestly, I’m not even sure what made me do it, it was one of the most healing moments in my walk as a Christian. As I revealed the shame and grief of my situation to them, they stood up—and surrounded me, rather than walked away. It still catches my breath to this day to think about it.

As Sisters, we’re actively choosing to walk in faith with one another, pursuing God’s vision for our lives individually and together. We’re putting faith into action as we love the other sisters among us as God would love her, not as we might. And we’re working toward bringing more sisters into the family so that they can look to the women in their lives and go deeper, discovering Sisters of their own.

Because Sisterhood means never having to go it alone. To never hit rock bottom and turn to see that no one is in it with you. We deserve better than that, but it starts with us. God has Sisters in mind for you, if only you’ll reach toward them. Sisterhood set in motion by a Father who loves you both beyond measure.

Reflection Questions

Have you had a pivotal moment in your life that revealed something about your friendships? What did you learn about yourself and friendship in general?

What’s the difference between friendship and sisterhood in your opinion?

How does your relationship with God play a part in your friendships?

Prayer

We’re so thankful for Sisterhood. For the vision you had from the very beginning that we should not be alone. For the wisdom you impart in us, giving us a deep longing for something more than we may have settled for in the past. Lord, I ask that you bless the women reading this. That you spark in them what you sparked in me, a desire for something deeper. And that you bless them beyond measure with women in their lives that are like family. Sisters. Thank you for loving us so well, and for giving us what we deeply need and desire, rather than what we are able to ask for. I lift each one of them up to you, in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

 

21 thoughts on “Sisterhood is Never Having to Go it Alone

Sheila Watson

This is me. I have no real deep friendships. Most women don’t understand what I’m dealing with. The women I attend church with gossip and are shallow. I am all I have. Me and God, and sometimes that’s difficult because He already knows. This isolation also keeps me broken.

Reply

    Jodie

    Shelia, I have a deep burden for you and all women in this position. Isolation hurts. May I pray right now? Father, there is a longing within us for relationship. Shelia knows you and rests in her relationship with you. She also desires a good friend. One that she can talk to, enjoy time with, encourage, and be encouraged. Lead the way,
    Lord. As you did with Laura, open the door to beautiful friendships that Shelia can call sisters. In Jesus name, Amen

    I’m thankful you are willing to share sisterhood here with us, Shelia.

    Reply

    Laura Adams

    Sheila, Can I just tell you that it is possible to change this in your life? It’s scary. I still struggle with feeling like I won’t fit in, or that I’ll be the only one who cares about moving the relationship forward. But, I know I’m wrong about that. God proved me wrong. It took a tremendous amount of risk in my mind, but I’m so glad I took that risk. Honestly, I did it out of desperation and exhaustion. But that’s where God needed to take me in order to improve my life. I’m so glad I put myself out there, even though I was truly, truly terrified of the women I reached toward. You can do this. Pray about it. As a woman surfaces to mind, pray about her, take a deeper look and see if she is the type of friend you want and need, then reach out to her. Be the kind of friend you wish you had, and women will respond. You may have to lead it in the beginning, but be willing to be the one who builds it. Thank you for being a part of the Sisterhood. I’m very aware that it’s not a small thing for many women. Much love to you. <3

    Reply

Brandy Richardson

“Someone who I could be real with, and know that at the end of my ugly, they would still be standing beside me.”
This is what resonated with me most as it is not something that happens in my family. It’s sad when family would rather walk away than love through the ugly and work through the hard.
It’s why I’m thankful for the friends who have truly become sisters, those who aren’t afraid to speak truth into my life, who aren’t afraid to offer correction when they see me doing something outside of God’s will. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes we take offense but we always come back to the realization that the words spoken are from a heart of love and that allows us to move past the hurt, see the error in our ways and keep on loving one another.
I pray for those women that have yet to make sisterhood connections. It starts with one ladies, one connection. Ask God to lead you to that person, the one you can invite out for a cup of coffee and get to know better. Trust that He knows what you need and believe He will lead you there ❤

Reply

    Jodie

    Agreed and praying in agreement. One thing I’ve found that helps maintain deep friendships is being willing to “give permission.” Give your sister permission to gently redirect you when you need it. It may hurt to begin with but when we know and trust that the best is on the other side of the direction we will appreciate this. I haven’t always been one to be a good friend but time with God has molded me into a better friend and I’m grateful. We are certainly, better together.

    Reply

    Laura Adams

    Brandy, it’s a different life when you have sisters in it. I’m so thankful for those that God brought into my life. I’m joining you in prayer for others that need those connections. <3 Laura

    Reply

Jodie Whichard Barrett

Laura, I’m so grateful you said that prayer and that God brought us together. You are precious to him and to me. Love you, sister.

Reply

    Laura Adams

    Me too, Jodie! You are exactly the type of friend I prayed for. So thankful for you and our growing friendship. <3 Love you!

    Reply

Susan

This is the second time that I have tried to write , I’ll not get to detailed, but I really need to reach out, I feel so alone, my marriage is gone, I’m living in misery at home, I feel like I’m heading for a heart attack, my health keeps going down, down, down, please I’m reaching out fo a sister or many sisters, help me find my way.

Reply

    Laura Adams

    I’m so sorry, Susan. Please reach out to me through my sisterhood email at laura@sisterhoodministries.com so we can start a conversation.

    xo,
    Laura

    Reply

    Jodie

    Susan, I’m praying for you now. Lord, let your presence be felt. Fill your daughter with peace and comfort. We see her brave response and we lift her to you. Surround her with your love and may she know and trust that she is loved deeply by you. In Jesus name, Amen

    Reply

    Kathee Wheeler

    Dear Susan, I am praying for you and I will be praying for you for I was there 25 years ago. My heart is broken for you.

    Let me share that one night I was praying and crying in seeking my Lord! I had not slept in days but all of a sudden I felt a warmth that came over me that I’ve never experienced before and never again. I knew I was not alone!

    The Lord placed you in the Center of His Life. You have so many Sisters who are there for you!! You have us to get you through this! I was lucky I did have a Sister Friend who made sure I ate, go see the Dr., I was also included in their life for everything! Susan, please don’t hesitate to contact me! I’m only a private message away in Facebook or on the Sisterhood site! God bless you and know you are not alone Dear Sister!

    Reply

Nancy Silvers

I have been in some really hard places where I looked back I saw I was alone, it’s a hard place to be but in the midst of that pain I realized I didn’t know how to be there for someone else either. Laura, I can so relate to pushing women away for fear that they would learn the truth and, for me, it was so hard to keep that “happy” mask on.
I still don’t have any deep face to face relationships but I do have three friends who are my prayer warrior tribes I met online and I know I can reach out to them with out fear of judgement-I get support, prayer and sometimes gentle correction when it’s need. Always unconditional love and that is the best part of sisterhood!!
I am filled with so much joy knowing a part of your journey, praying with you through it and the beautiful way God worked everything out, Laura! You are such a sweet spirit in this Sisterhood-love you sweet friend!

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    Denise

    Wow. What a message. You articulated my battle with friendship perfectly. I have been in bible studies for over 13 years now and I always seemed to feel a little empty at the end of our session. Earlier this year, we had one group of women who came together and we went deep with our sins and our hurts. It was the first time I ever felt safe to share my vulnerability without shame. I have stayed connected with many from our group. They have become like sisters. Such a blessing.

    Reply

      Laura Adams

      Love that, Denise. All it takes is one person willing to go deep. Glad you found that. <3<3<3

      Reply

    Michele O’Leary

    Love you, Nancy!

    Reply

    Laura Adams

    Nancy, you were my first friend in that group. I was one terrified woman, lol, but you were such a sweet and gentle person to get to know first. God’s hand was in that strategic decision, I am sure. Like you, I’m still looking to find my face-to-face sisters that I can pal around with locally. But, I’m so very grateful for all of the incredible women God has poured into my life from all over the country. Love you!

    Reply

Michele O’Leary

Laura, beautifully written and real. Thank you for sharing your story and how sisters now step with you because of the first step: safety in the rawness of inviting friends to walk with you in real-life moments. I am proud and honored to call you friend and sister. Love you. Michele

Reply

    Mitzi

    Thank you for this post. Beautifully written and it certainly hits home. I appreciate your transparency and sharing your pain, and I can tell you I’m very grateful for sisters who will along side me.

    Reply

      Laura Adams

      Thank you, Mitzi. So glad I’ve gotten to know you better this past year. <3

      Reply

    Laura Adams

    Love you too, Michele! SO grateful that God nudged me to do what felt impossible. Totally worth it now. <3

    Reply

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